Monday, May 15, 2006

Worst Case Scenario

Today a doctor told me that Mary, my baby, my angel, my precious little Boo-Boo has type 1 diabetes. It came as a complete shock. Right now I'm sitting in a darkened hospital room, with my laptop before me, typing words that I hardly believe. Type 1, "juvenile onset", insulin dependent diabetes. I'm still overwhelmed by the harsh reality that's all around me. Just when I thought things were getting better: Carl's fever is down and Boo's broken arm is on the mend, and pow. All of the sudden, diabetes.

At first I thought the symptoms were a urinary tract infection. Both Friday and Saturday nights Mary woke up in the middle of the night with wet undies. Last night (Sunday) she kept running back and forth to the bathroom, and she didn't fall asleep until midnight. And then she woke up at ten minutes of five this morning, wet again. So we called the doctor, and I took her in. They tested her urine sample and told me that while she didn't have any bacterial problems, the sugar level was elevated and they wanted to take a blood test for diabetes. Twenty minutes later they came in with the bombshell: her blood glucose was 523, and she had diabetes. Of course my first question was, "Are you sure? Could this be the result of having too much sugar at lunch?" No, not at levels that high. "Could this be a temporary problem caused by her broken arm?" No, her arm has nothing to do with it. Since the initial information, I've been cascaded with all kinds of data. Mostly I just nod and say, "Please tell me what to do next." They tell me and I do it.

So here I sit, typing in the dark. Mary is (I hope) asleep: Carl and Hannah came in after supper and I went home to take a shower and gather the necessary clothes and toiletries needed for an extended hospital stay. Carl, bless his heart, couldn't find Boo's pajama pants, and it's my fault he couldn't. If I'd gotten the laundry folded he'd have had no trouble. (Sorry, honey.) But I came back with a bag full of clothes, etc., and Carl and Hannah went home for the night. Carl will be back tomorrow, and we'll begin the process of learning how to handle Boo's diabetes. Poor Carl - he just got over his fever, and now he's going to miss more work. Fortunately his boss is an understanding, forgiving guy, and Carl's been able to telecommute a little.

But in closing I have to say this - I know there are people who have it worse than me, but doggone it, I have two daughters, and both of them have diseases that will affect them for the rest of their lives. Hannah has autism, and Mary has diabetes, and it just seems like nature is conspiring against me. I'm sad, overwhelmed, and I fear for my babies' futures. I don't know what to do, and I wish it would all just go away.

Dammit, it just isn't fair!

11 Comments:

Anonymous Eleanor said...

My heartfelt sympathies to you and your whole family. I know you'll learn to deal with this, but I also know it stinks.

I don't know what else to say.

9:53 PM  
Blogger Kafaleni said...

{{The whole family}}

Yeah, it's not fair, but at least, with management, it's gonna get better. The torrent of info is like water on famine-parched ground.. there's so much, it just builds up and starts rolling off, and accumulating elsewhere. You need time to take a deep breath, focus, and learn the important stuff (foods to avoid, how to administer medication, advice to help Boo cope) and figure out the deeper, more intense stuff later.

You and Carl are great parents, and you'll make it through this together, stronger.

PS.. ultra important.. GET BOO A MEDIC-ALERT BRACELET NOW. It could save her life one day when you're not there. There's no way I can emphasise this enough. My mum has to wear one (not for diabetes) and I'm incredibly grateful that she has it... not because anything will happen.. but just in case.

10:55 PM  
Anonymous cyn said...

{{{hugs Nancy}}}
what a tough situation, sweetheart. i'm so sorry. my prayers are with you and Mary and your family.
GR (who has Type 2) says it's not so hard once the meds and food intake are balanced. hopefully she'll be able to take the pill form. (my dad did for years n his never got any worse!)

and there are many good tasting sugar free jellos and puddings, deserts and candies these days. and splenda has a blend to bake with.
(don't panic! i'll research n send stuff to you. with instructions!)

n what Kaf said. solid advice there, darlin. be sure n strong emotionally. she'll think it's way worse if you're all unraveled. you know to pray it over;) get lots of rest yourself. Carl can handle things. just delegate. let me know if you need anything, or if i can help in any way. love n smooches.

12:39 AM  
Anonymous Jeff Meyerson said...

Aunt N: so it isn't fair, and it seems like life stinks sometimes, but you know in the end that the good WAY outweighs the bad. You'll get through this and once her blood sugar is regulated and her diet is set, Boo will be OK too. In the end you'll all come through it stronger than ever, I'm sure.

{{{AUNT Nancy & Boo & fmaily}}}

6:16 AM  
Blogger Leetie said...

(((Aunt Nancy and Family)))

7:47 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Mary, Mom called me last night and let me know. We'll be praying for her and you and your family. We love you.

8:39 AM  
Anonymous Bismuth said...

Giants ((( ))) to everyone.

That's a lot of misfortune all at once. But you've shown that you're a good strong midwestern woman, and I know that your family can't be far from you in that regard.

8:50 AM  
Anonymous neophyte said...

Aunt Nancy,

You're right; it isn't fair. Children should never have problems. But they do. I'm so sorry. Many hugs and prayers for you all!

4:13 PM  
Anonymous MarySue Musser said...

Hello, I'm a friend of Thelly Reahm. She sent me your blog spot and a the bit on autism questions. I'm Mary Sue Musser, now 70 years old and a life story writer and a pilot and a happily married woman. My grandson, CJ, will be 7 May 23. He was diagnosed with autism 5 years ago. He's considered high functioning and has come a long way. Just now is potty trained. My daughter is 46, so it's been really a difficult thing. He is in the CA system for autistic childen. She takes him often for help. My only son is 47 and very likely has always been somewhat autistic. At this point he is diagonosed with schizphrenia and other things. After learning about CJ we studied and decided Johnny is more than just mentally ill. Believe me, I can relate to you. God bless you as you continue to learn and love through all of this. I love chocolate too and love to cook a lot. Mainly I love Jesus and my husband, my kids, grandkids and my dogs. I don't blog, but you can write to me on MarySuesRecipes@aol.com and I'll be happy to chat back and forth. We've come a long way in the last 5 years as a family dealing with all of this. Mary Sue Musser

8:29 PM  
Anonymous MOTW said...

AN - you know my daughter has type I diabetes. Yes, it's a shock. You feel guilty for not knowing the symptoms. How can they sentence you to type I just by high BG level - don't they have to do a Lab Test or something else? *HUG*

Part of the shock is not knowing. So you learn and it gets a little easier. You definitely need your faith in God at this time, because He was not caught off guard.

Regarding the Medical ID bracelet - make it a charm bracelet. It is much less obvious to others and makes it easier for the girls to wear. You can find charms that fit her personality and that will help.

8:21 AM  
Blogger Kafaleni said...

Great idea on the bracelet MOTW! Does your B have one also?

11:27 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home