Friday, January 04, 2008

Ew! What's That Smell?

The Iowa Caucus is finally over. In our house, we refer to it as the Iowa Carcass, when political vultures hover over the state looking for whatever they can scavenge. The buzzards squawk at you on TV and radio, and they phone you ad nauseum hoping to suck some political voter blood out of you. Then on Carcass Day the politically active types go and decide which vulture they think is the cutest. All in all, an annoyance that Iowans have to put up with every four years.

Remember - "politics" is derived from the Greek "poly" meaning "many", and ticks are blood sucking creatures.

Get the feeling that I'm fed up with politics, politicians and political ads? You bet I am! I'm registered as an Independent, but that doesn't seem to deter anything. Both parties called our house begging for our caucus support. Meanwhile, as the politicking is going on, we're teaching our girls the difference between liberal and conservative values, and explaining to them why we're conservatives. To that end, Hannah (a chip off the old block) wrote the following:

'Twas the night before caucus, with signs up and other "fun"
No one was stirring, not even Hillary Clinton
And as dumb as they were, they'd wait for phone calls from politics and then
The next day they'd caucus for liberals like Joe Biden
My sister answered the phone hoping it would be Shannon
But the look she had told me it was a politic - it was Bill Richardson
She still had that look on her face, I knew what she would say
She said, "You have the wrong number! Seriously, GO AWAY!"
All I have to say is, "listen to me if you can,
Liberals are not that honest - vote Republican!"

A nice sentiment: what my daughter hasn't learned yet is that the Republican party isn't all that honest, either, nor are they all that conservative any more. She'll learn with time.

And now, a few other observations about politics:

I wish they had a "none of the above" category. If a majority voted "none of the above" it would force the political parties to go back and try again. Hopefully they'd find someone with actual leadership ability.

Joe Biden (who's now thankfully dropped out of the race) was campaigning in Iowa on an honesty theme. This from the guy caught plagarizing stuff in the 80's. Go figure.

Am I the only one who thinks Barack sounds like the noise you make when you hurl?

Ron Paul had a helicopter flying over the Cedar Rapids metro area yesterday, pulling a banner that said "The Ron Paul Revolution". It had the letters EVOL highlighted in red. That's "love" spelled backwards. Doesn't "backwards love" equal "hate"? Is that what this guy stands for? Did he put any thought into that banner? Sheesh!

Also yesterday, very early on a very frigid morning, there were young women standing at busy intersections holding huge "Hillary" banners. Puts new meaning into the nickname "Chillary".

For some reason, Mary liked Mitt Romney as a candidate. I can't get enthusiastic for anyone named after a piece of sporting equipment. Does he have a sister named "Bat" or a brother named "Cleat"? Wouldn't surprise me if he did. However, for Mary's sake, I will end this blog with the campaign slogan that Mary made up:

Wit-A-Pit-Pit, Vote for Mitt.


Anonymous the 'ol dad said...

All I can say is, look out Dave Barry! What a family of writers!! You guys are all so talented.

5:51 AM  

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